Am I a bad Mum?

I'll be short – I'm still having a smile on my face after three months old twins, thanks to my four day stay at the Tressilian center to settle better the babies and to my parents coming home from overseas.
Papy Phuc and Madou were not really in holidays! They did lot of housework ,shopping , cooking, entertaining Oceane at sunrise and giving cuddles to Laetitia late in the evening. They did a great job and gave us lot of love. All that provided me all kind of fantastic resources to recover from the birth and not losing confidence...as a new mum on a lost continent with newborn twins, I have the chance to get hips of help from associations, new friends, mother’s group and great emotional support through skype! I never been that kind of people asking any help, but in that time of my life I just told myself: don’t be shy and go for it!-That's my only advice- and the only way to survive!

I had to book the Day Stay Family Center a month in advance, even missed the interview by phone (forgot that specific day to switch on my phone, and had a nap instead)...So I did the interview a day after, half way to Coogee, sitting on a bench in the front of the Pacific Ocean. That was the day my parents and I decided to walk from home, along the coast all the way up to Bondi Beach. And we did it with several stops for breastfeeding bubs…and a 20 min. phone call!

Then the chapter “Tressilian” was short and exact. Patrick and I were during four days intensively training the "comfort" settling method. By chance David and Michele arrived that same week-end from Auckland and gave me the opportunity to have my first raw fish of the year –we dinner in the best Japanese restaurant of the town - while the 9 weeks old Laetitia and Oceane synchronized their sleep with the nurses. All the Mums I've met there were with toddler, apparently bad habits are even more difficult to correct the more you wait. There is no right and no wrong, each baby is different - just some guideline makes the mother more confident, and with sleep deprivation, I needed exterior advices!
Amazing how enjoyable is a dinner with no bubs in the arms! At 10 weeks old, Patrick and I started a new family life, with routine and a ten minute settling time each night after the bath. The number of feed during night slowly decreased and that carry me in a transition time: I became even able to make the difference between days and nights.

But still -the most interest you have for other activities,the better you are-. I was so convinced that going back to work was mentally healthy that I managed to find a great family day care, Lisa, who takes care of the girls from 9am to 5:25pm the thursdays and fridays of the following month of November. I could now let Patrick struggling two evenings per week with the last feed/bath and settle and come home after work, even after my yoga class late in the evening. No more excuse, my challenge could be reached by strength of will. Those days are my days to work, chance to socialize and recover in a reality that I know better than being a Mum. But I am a double Mum the other 5 days,....and before that, I was mentally suffocating to be honest...7day, 24h/24h is just insane!!!